Our intuition should be trusted instead of listening to other people’s advice.
Motherhood: A Forgotten Pleasure
Is it a neutral fact that maternity is tinged with positive or negative connotations depending on the era? Having children was not considered a burden but a blessing in the past. Taking care of children, parenting, and motherhood should be enjoyable experiences in and of themselves.
The enjoyment of behaviors that are essential for the survival of an individual or a species is a result of their essential nature. Animals do not know that food contains nutrients necessary to survive nor that sex is essential to reproduce. They act for pleasure. However, sexual pleasure alone cannot guarantee reproduction.
No animal can care for and feed children for as long as humans. We must take care of and feed children for years to come. It is likely that our ancestors, without education, social norms, law, or religion, abandoned babies without remorse if they considered them too much of a burden.
Additionally, it appears that there is a powerful feedback mechanism that occurs when taking care of a baby. You fall in love with it the more you take care of it.
Read more: Tips for Happiness in Daily Life
The First Contact With Your Child
It has been reported to me by many maternity nurses that mothers who have held their child continuously in the delivery room for a couple of hours do not complain. She feels safe taking care of her son, requests that she be left with him 24 hours a day, and has little difficulty breastfeeding.
The nurses must take the baby away so the mother can rest if she is separated from her child for the first few hours. Mothers separated from their children for the first few hours seem to feel more insecure.
In this process, each step facilitates the next. The mother who is happy with her son will smile at him, touch him and talk to him much more. She will cry less and sleep more peacefully than the mother, who is not as happy with her son.
Baby babies left alone in their cribs without being picked up can become insecure, whiny, and demanding, and their mothers can feel overwhelmed and exhausted if they are left alone in their cribs.
Excess of Norms
A mother’s relationship with her child is facilitated by one step in the relationship, but it is not determined by it. A change can be initiated either in one direction or at any time during the relationship.
Parents often find themselves involved in a tangle of taboos imposed by society, such as: “Don’t pick him up, you spoil him,” “Don’t put him in your bed, you won’t be able to get him out later.”
Mother and child become increasingly separated as a result of these absurd rules. These rules create mutual mistrust and resentment. When a child cries, parents often wonder, “What will he want next?”, “When can I sleep?”
The good news is that we can alter the course of this process and move forward in the right direction. We can take our son in our arms, caress him, sing to him, feel the warmth of his soft skin, and take pleasure in the aroma of his small head.
Sleep lulled to sleep, noticing how their bodies adapt to ours, searching for a little nest to nest. As the child cries, the parents will think: “Poor thing, how he suffers, what will happen to him? Why cannot he sleep?” Empathy is developed, the ability to comprehend and share another person’s feelings. HubFLX Blogspot
Researchers discovered years ago that babies cry less if they can hear their mother’s heart, the soothing sound they become accustomed to in the womb. Therefore, they created a teddy bear that ticks like a heart. The parents believed the baby would no longer require his mother from him if he cuddled with a bear, listened to a “tic-tac,” and wore a pacifier.
The people did not realize that a mother could provide her child with more than any inanimate object. They did not realize that she had been taking her son everywhere for nine months. She also cries less when she can hold her baby, feels safer when she can see him at all times, and sleeps better when she is close to him.
It is not uncommon for mothers to hear that picking up their daughters and putting them to sleep creates dependence on their children. Is yours the only one and a half years old living with her parents?
It is impossible to make a child independent because he already is, regardless of what the parents do for him. All children, for decades, have relied on their parents to develop, learn, and survive.
Lower Your Demand
In our society, a myth has prevailed about the mother being self-sacrificing. The myth of the self-sacrificing mother has replaced the pleasure of motherhood with the myth of the self-sacrificing woman.
Mothers are often thought to have renounced themselves, their priorities, and their desires when caring for a child. However, by doing this, she has awakened compassion.
There is no perception that motherhood can be a source of pleasure but a personal sacrifice. Due to the prohibition of putting the baby in the mother’s bed, she is forced to get up several times a night to attend to her son.
It’s not necessary to sacrifice yourself for your child. What is best for your child is also best for you. Our species wouldn’t have survived a million years without it.
The Moment of Change
Suppose you must make a conscious effort to violate your most intimate desires. You and your child would benefit from a change if you often think things like this. “I would hold him, but they say he is not good.” “I would sleep with him, but he has to learn to sleep alone.”
It would be best if you didn’t sacrifice your well-being to care for your children because being a mother does not entail giving up who you are.
As a result, you can think of the happy years you have spent with his child instead of the inevitable fights and snubs of his future adolescence. Adolescence will also pass; there is no doubt about that.